There’s a saying that goes, “hurt people hurt people.” And it’s painfully true.
When people are wounded — emotionally, spiritually, relationally — and never seek healing, they often become carriers of that pain. Not intentionally, not always maliciously, but inevitably. Unhealed trauma leaks into relationships. Unaddressed anger becomes control. Shame turns into silence or pride. And generation after generation, the cycle repeats.
Brokenness spreads — unless something stops it.
Here’s the hard truth: the enemy loves broken people who don’t seek healing. He uses them to do his darkest work. He whispers lies that sound like truth: “You’ll never change.” “They deserved it.” “This is just who you are.”
And the most dangerous part? When someone hasn’t accepted Jesus into their heart, they’re trying to fight that battle alone — often unaware they’re even in one.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10
Satan’s mission is clear: steal joy, kill identity, destroy families. And one of his most effective strategies is using unresolved brokenness to fracture relationships — especially within the home. He loves to plant seeds of bitterness between spouses, create distance between parents and children, stir up comparison, addiction, resentment. He thrives in chaos and silence.
But Jesus?
Jesus stepped into that chaos and brought peace. He stepped into brokenness and brought healing. He didn’t run from messy people — He ran to them. And when He healed them, He didn’t just patch things up — He transformed them from the inside out.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
We’re not called to conform to the brokenness of this world. We’re called to become more like Jesus, and in doing so, become instruments of healing instead of carriers of pain.
What Can We Do?
Whether you’re dealing with a spouse, sibling, parent, or child — navigating brokenness in family relationships takes both grace and wisdom. Here are some biblical and practical steps:
To Mend a Relationship:
- Pray first – Ask God to soften your heart and theirs. Healing always begins in prayer.
- Own your part – Humility opens the door to reconciliation. Apologize sincerely where needed.
- Speak the truth in love – Boundaries aren’t unkind. Be honest, but season your words with grace (Ephesians 4:15).
- Forgive freely – Forgiveness is not forgetting, but releasing the right to retaliate. Christ forgave us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).
- Keep showing up – Restoration often takes time. Stay consistent in love, even when it’s hard.
When a Relationship is Toxic:
- Discern the fruit – If the relationship consistently brings destruction, manipulation, or emotional harm, it may be time to step back (Matthew 7:16).
- Seek wise counsel – Don’t make hard calls alone. Talk with a trusted pastor, counselor, or mentor.
- Set firm boundaries – You can love someone without enabling their dysfunction. Saying “no” can be holy.
- Release them to God – You’re not their Savior — Jesus is. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let go and trust God to work on their heart.
- Stay rooted in peace – Cutting ties isn’t easy, but peace is a sign you’re aligned with God’s will (Colossians 3:15).
A Prayer for Healing and Discernment
Father God,
I come before You carrying both hurt and hope. You see the broken relationships in my life — the ones full of silence, tension, and unresolved pain. You know how deep the wounds go, and how heavy this burden has become.
Lord, I ask for Your healing. Heal the places in my own heart that have grown hard, bitter, or afraid. Help me forgive where it feels impossible. Help me love where it feels undeserved.
For the people in my life who are hurting but have not yet turned to You, I pray that You soften their hearts and draw them close to Your truth. Set them free from the lies of the enemy. Restore what’s been lost.
Give me the wisdom to know when to speak, when to wait, and when to walk away. I trust You with the outcome, and I choose to follow Jesus — not the patterns of this world.
Use me as a vessel of peace, and help me reflect Your love in every situation.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Final Thought:
This world will always offer you reasons to harden your heart, to protect yourself at all costs, to stay bitter. But Jesus offers something radically different — a path of healing, humility, and love. You don’t have to stay stuck in someone else’s brokenness. Step into wholeness, reflect Christ, and break the cycle for good.
