Setting the Record Straight: My Journey Through Loss, Redemption, and Truth
My name is Rodger Thomas, and I’m writing this with a heavy heart, but with clarity and conviction. I’ve gone back and forth for years about whether I should tell my story—my full story. Not just the headlines or the rumors. Not just the one-sided accounts that have followed me for over 20 years. But the truth. Because I believe it’s time.
This is not easy for me. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I’m doing this for my children, my grandchildren, my family, my friends, and anyone who may have heard a version of my life that only includes fragments—some truth, some lies, and many things left unsaid.
I’m not writing this for sympathy. I’m writing this for peace. And more than anything, I’m writing this because I believe no person should be defined by the worst moment of their life, especially when there’s so much more to the story.
Losing Everything
There’s no easy way to say this: I’ve lost nearly everything a man can lose. Over the course of a few short years, life as I knew it was stripped away.
I lost my mother, father, and brother—all of whom passed away without me being able to attend their funerals, without a proper goodbye. I carry that with me every single day. It’s a pain that’s hard to describe. There’s no closure. Just a hollow ache and countless conversations that will never be had.
I went through a divorce that fractured my heart and left me estranged from my children. To this day, that is one of my greatest heartbreaks. I don’t blame anyone for the distance—I know the storm that came through our lives left scars. But not a day goes by that I don’t pray for reconciliation. For healing.
I lost my career, my reputation, my paintball passion, and nearly every friendship I had built over the years. When the storm hit, people scattered. That’s the nature of tragedy. But in the middle of the wreckage, a few people stood by me. To those few—I owe more than I could ever repay.
And to those who judged me, labeled me, and spread stories without ever asking me what really happened—I don’t hold hate. I hold sadness. Because people are more than their pasts. And mine has been misunderstood for far too long.
What Really Happened
Let me clear something up once and for all: what happened over 20 years ago was the result of a perfect storm. It wasn’t who I was. It isn’t who I am. It was a collision of mental health struggles, personal crises, and the wrong treatment at the wrong time.
At that point in my life, I was overwhelmed—my family life was falling apart, my professional life was under pressure, and I was dealing with extreme anxiety and panic attacks. I sought help, and my primary care doctor prescribed me medication. What none of us realized at the time was that this medication would trigger a manic episode—a psychological state where I became someone I didn’t recognize. I made decisions I would never have made in my right mind.
That manic state led to the actions that changed everything.
Again, I am not making excuses. I take responsibility for the pain caused. I am not trying to diminish the impact of what happened on anyone else’s life. I know there were people that were hurt, including my family and friends, and I pray every day that God has brought healing to each one of them. I am simply stating what the courts and doctors later verified: there were extenuating circumstances that contributed to what happened.
This was an isolated incident. There was nothing before it, and nothing like it after. And that isn’t by chance—it’s because I never stopped trying to become the man God intended me to be.
The Church Lawsuit
There’s been talk about the church lawsuit connected to my case. So let me set the record straight: the lawsuit filed against this church was dismissed. In fact, the court awarded a judgment in the church’s favor, forcing the other party to pay their legal fees. Why? Because the claims made were found to be false. It was about money—not truth.
I was made out to be something I wasn’t. Stories were spun, reputations were destroyed, and my name was dragged through the mud. And while I can’t erase what’s out there, I can speak the truth now—and that truth matters.
During the darkest chapter of my life was also where God began to rebuild me.
I earned my PhD., I started a Toastmasters International chapter in the facility to help other men find their voice and grow in confidence. I launched a chapter of the Sons of the American Legion, and I even wrote a self-help curriculum that is still being taught today to help others cope with trauma and transformation.
I used my time to grow, to give, and to serve. And I’ve carried that same mindset into my life ever since.
Faith: My Lifeline
The only reason I’m still here today is because of my faith in Jesus Christ. When I wanted to give up when I lost the will to keep going, it was God who whispered, “You’re not finished yet.”
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
I’ve lived that verse. Many times. And God has never let go of me.
I’m not perfect. I never have been. But I am redeemed. I am forgiven. And I wake up every day asking God to use me for good—for my family, my community, and anyone who still believes in second chances.
Moving Forward, One Day at a Time
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life fighting rumors or defending myself. I want peace. I want to rebuild the relationships with my family, with my children, and with anyone willing to see me as I am today, not who I was at my lowest.
To my children and grandchildren: I love you. I’ve never stopped. I pray for the chance to sit across the table from you one day and talk—not about the past, but about the future.
To those who’ve judged me without knowing the full story: I understand. But I invite you now to see the whole picture. People are more than their worst moments.
And to those struggling right now—who feel like their life is over: it’s not. There is life after loss. There is grace after guilt. There is hope after heartbreak.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
I’m not asking for understanding. I’m asking for a chance to live out my final chapters in peace. To serve. To do good. To love and be loved. And to walk every day in truth.
Let’s stop pointing fingers. Let’s stop hiding behind shame. Let’s move forward—one day at a time, with honesty, with faith, and with open hearts.
Thank you for listening. And thank you for letting me tell the truth.
— Rodger Thomas
